Thank you so, so much for sharing a piece of your heart in response to my story. I’m sorry you’re hurting so much, and I’m sorry there’s no one you can turn to. Depression can alienate people, but the abuse you’ve been on the receiving end of is… words fail me. That anyone could regard the suffering of a fellow human as entertainment is abhorrent to me.
A lot of what you write about resonates, as does the picture. Yoga is part of what’s keeping me together but I’ve never attended a class. An app, a mat and putting in the work has helped me carve out some headspace as well as keep body and mind flexible, open to possibility. It turns out I have incredibly musical bones! And as much grace as a tank.
It’d be remiss of me to even attempt to suggest anything to you as I’m pretty stuck myself and still quite isolated. Along with yoga, books literally prop me up, the most useful card in my wallet being my library card.
Speaking up is freeing, though, and can encourage others to join in the conversation so that’s at least something positive in both your life and mine.
Forgive me but I have a nagging concern about your response, which I believe is public meaning anyone can read it: I hope you haven’t out yourself at risk by writing it?
What else can I say but wish you well? At the end of the day, what others think of you is none of your business, and there are plenty of kind strangers out there. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone you don’t know than to someone you live with, and other times, putting pen to paper and downloading all that is within has a similarly soothing effect.
And when humans suck, there’s always animals, unconditionally loving and non-judgmental. Before I adopted my cats, I helped out at a local shelter. I’d just moved to a very remote location and the cats there (and the amazing lady who’d been running the shelter on her own dime for years, literally pouring her entire salary into it every month) welcomed me no questions asked. Of course, I was eventually adopted by one of the shelter cats and we moved together to the U.S.
Hang in there, Kathleen, and thanks again for your words.