Hi, Satti! I wish I were recovered from depression, but that’s not the case and I doubt it’ll ever happen. Given the last five years and my genetics, I think the best I can realistically hope for is to find a way to lead as normal a life as possible despite the illness. Of course, if I ever get the means to access therapy and get some professional help then maybe an even better future is possible…
What I have however recovered is my writing voice, which means I’ve been somewhat functional since the summer. I say somewhat because issues and limitations remain but I try and work around them.
As for what caused depression, I think it’s getting clearer and clearer with each passing day —in a nutshell, it’s a combination of deep-seated trauma and current circumstances. Given the life I’ve led to date, it could even be construed as a normal, sane reaction.
Then again, I can’t spend too much time looking at it right now lest I should become paralyzed again or lose my writing voice once more. My father needs me, this is what keeps me going.