I haven’t got kids, Dougal, or rather I haven’t had them yet, assuming that is even a possibility... Another story for another day.
But there is no way I would hurt them, that much I can assure you. When I fell pregnant by accident (contraception failed) during my first marriage, I had an abortion as my husband wasn’t father material and rather abusive toward me.
There was no way I was going to perpetuate the cycle and I realized that was a real risk back then. My husband didn’t care either way about the pregnancy, which tells you all you need to know.
I have no regrets. A child needs a family who can model what love is, and for me that will always mean more than just the one parent.
So, in that sense, I broke the cycle I guess. I wrote a couple of pieces about being childless by default, not by choice.
I’d love a family of my own eventually but only with the right human, i.e. someone who accepts and welcomes all of me, wonky brain included, and whose love isn’t transactional…
Loaded topic. 😔