Indeed, Samantha Beach, those kinds of pain aren’t the same but one can often trigger the other and sometimes, they merge, which is atrocious.
I’m sorry you’re suffering so much. Then again, please remember there can be occasional moments of grace in the middle of it all. Sometimes, the fog lifts, bringing enough relief for a moment to feel fully human again. Hang on to those moments for dear life and let them carry you.
Pain tends to diminish us but only if we let it. I ended up identifying with depression and all its attendant pain at one point, and that frankly wasn’t my greatest idea: I’m not my illness any more than you are yours.
Our brains are assholes, our bodies are assholes but we endure because we’re hardwired for life. You’re no exception, Sam. I know it doesn’t feel this way right now but you can and you will make it by finding a way to accommodate the pain even if you can never fully tame it. But please, don’t let it tame you. You’re in charge here, not the other way around.
Much love from the upper left corner of our shared landmass. xoxo
PS/ For another perspective which you might find helpful, please take a look at this: